My dog chews bubble gum,
You can laugh if you want but it's true.
He also eats just about everything, including the things that I do.
He can blow great big bubbles as big as a pie,
And some so gigantic he can sail in the sky.
If you don't believe me, I can prove that it's true - 
I'll take his picture next time and show it to you.
He eats onions and garlic on a hot dug and bun,
His breath is so strong that I have to run.
My eyes popped wide open when I saw him walk in
With a long squiggly worm hanging over his chin.
I pleaded, "Oh no, don't do it." But yet he
Just swallowed it down like a string of spaghetti.
Nibbling crickets and spiders and grasshoppers, too,
There isn't anything he wouldn't chew.
He sneaked into the kitchen when he smelled something cooking, 
And snapped a bite of this and that when Mother wasn't looking.
"What happened to my meat loaf? It must have been that pest."
Would you believe he ran back in and ate up all the rest?
You would think he'd get sick and go to the vet,
But believe it or not we haven't taken him yet.
His teeth are all broken, his lips are a sight,
He whistles through cracks as he snores through the night.
Today he gobbled my shoe - it was gone in a minute.
It would have been much worse if my foot were still in it.
I started to worry when I noticed that he
Was licking his lips and staring at me.
He couldn't be thinking of something that bad,
And eat the best friend that he ever had.

Joseph M. Daitz, February 2001