| Cats
have always been one of our more revered domestic animals. They
practically ruled Egypt, have had more than their fair share of
animated icons (from Felix to Garfield), and most recently have
taken control of an empire with more wealth and influence than Tut
or Ramses ever imagined - Broadway.
Not surprisingly then, stories of cat
pampering outnumber those of our less favored domestic beasts. Sorry
Spot. In some cases, these cattails have transcended generations and
are alive and well today. For example, consider the cats of King
Chulalongkorn, or Rama V for short. King Rama V, a sequel to King
Rama IV, was born in Bangkok, Thailand, in 1853. Rama V himself was
highly revered by his people for modernizing his country (then Siam)
and for being, in general, a doer of good deeds.
One of these deeds was to afford living
quarters within his palace to a number of lounging, do-nothing
Siamese felines known as khao manee (aka "diamond eyes").
The khao manee have different colored eyes - either emerald green
and topaz yellow or blue and diamond white. These cats have been
living the high life ever since. Today, 50 descendants of Rama’s
original cast of freeloaders are in the custody of film producer
Namdee Witta. These animals live in teak-paneled rooms, drink
bottled spring water from gold- and silver-plated bowls, and wear
collars embedded with glass cut to resemble diamonds. And we thought
Morris was spoiled.
Once, while Witta was visiting Tanzania with
his cats, a local government official was overheard to say,
"Excuse me, but I think your cats just ate my gross national
product!" Well, there is no actual documentation that this
statement was ever made, but you can be sure that whatever the cats
were eating was less gross than Tanzania’s national product. Witta’s
daughter rises at dawn to prepare the daily feedbag, fried mackerel
and boiled chicken fillets, which the cats receive three times a
day. Witta himself spends hours tidying up their open-air living
rooms and tucking them into their individual gilded cages lest they
contract a germ from the gentle breezes.
By now you are asking the question, WHAT is
Witta’s angle here? In his own words, "I am doing something
for the next generation." In my words, "He is doing
something to his tax returns." That’s right. These cats have
it better than most children in Thailand, or anywhere else for that
matter, so why not pass them off as dependents?
If I’m right about this, you can be sure the
cats are keeping it under their hats. And why shouldn’t they? Not
only do they enjoy lifestyles of the rich and famous, they are
national heroes, appearing on postage stamps and littery, uh lottery,
tickets. Some residents have actually developed hairballs from
licking too many khao manee stamps. But if the public knew what
these fraudulent felines were costing the government in lost taxes,
I think Cat in a Hat under Glass might replace Spot Roast on many
Thai menus.
Oh, maybe I’m just a cynic. Perhaps the
value of these cats really does go beyond good fodder for a tax
ruse. According to Witta, "They are princes and princesses, and
they deserve the best. Their value is beyond price. How valuable?
Well, I can tell you six years ago a monk had a Siamese of this
breed, and he sold it for 150 million baht ($4 million) to a very
wealthy jeweler."
Hmmm. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
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